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I am so frustrated with the forces in this world that are invested in death and fighting against the future. I am talking about the United States government as it blocks change at the UN Global Climate Conference in Bali. I am talking about the vested interests in oil and logging and chemical agriculture that are killing the planet, causing species to go extinct, and poisoning our future. We are perverted stewards in a cycle of ecological usury, unable to look ourselves squarely in the mirror and admit what we are doing.
I wonder how much of this has to do with emotion, or the lack of it, in the world we live in. We are so trained to suppress our feelings, we are dried up inside. We have become so used to ridiculing those who stand up in front of the camera and cry—even when it might be about their son dying in an unnecessary war—we forget what it might feel like if the camera were on us. We don’t want to think that we are responsible. We are the Twelve, after all. We have it figured out. We can give answers to the world.
Sometimes I am not so sure that we have it figured out. I remember Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, questioning his role, feeling the separation. Are we wiser than Christ? More human in our unwillingness to feel? Perhaps, if being human means false pride and the cold sense of self-perfection.
I have worked and lived in the corporate world. I have put on the Armani armor, the power-suits and make-up. With time and practice, these seemed like a natural skin. But sometimes, every so often, I would come home and cry. Sometimes during my prayers before bed, sometimes in the bath, sometimes for no reason at all. For years, I resented this emotional weakness in myself. But today, after talking with some of the spiritual elders I have come to know through my contact with the Twelve, I am not so sure. If anything, those moments make me feel more alive.
And this is what it is all about now. This is the moment to be alive. And the moment to stand up and fight so that those with less means and power can remain alive as well.
I know these words are going out to a small group of people, many of whom share the same environmental concerns as me, but I would implore you to join together. Connect with your fellow clan members. Let your friends know about Project Restoration. This is the critical time.
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